My Psychedelic Journey: A Path Through the Fog of Depression
900 WORDS (~3 MINS READ)
Depression can feel like a fog that drains color from mornings and silences laughter. Across Portland, Maine, and New England, more people are seeking psychedelic therapy as a pathway toward self-discovery and transformation.
I know this struggle intimately. Years of PTSD and depression as a disabled combat veteran left me longing for renewal. Through guided and intentional psilocybin and MDMA experiences, I discovered a way to navigate inner landscapes with awareness and care. Today, I offer support through preparation, integration, and harm-reduction-oriented guidance in a relational and heart-centered context.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
Science Aligning with Ceremony
Research at Johns Hopkins, NYU, Harvard,and other institutions has confirmed what ceremonial traditions have long recognized. Psilocybin, when approached responsibly, can catalyze profound healing for depression, fostering reconnection, awe, and renewed purpose. Many participants describe these journeys as among the most meaningful experiences of their lives.
While I do not provide psychedelic therapy, I support individuals who independently choose to explore such practices, helping them do so with safety and intention.
“Under carefully controlled conditions, psilocybin can occasion experiences that are described as deeply meaningful and spiritually significant.”
Timeless wisdom says the path to clarity is not in erasing what is dark but in learning to see within it.
Invitation for reflection: ‘What in your life feels hidden underground right now, waiting to emerge?’
Preparation: Anchoring the Journey
Preparation is the foundation of transformation. Like sailing Casco Bay without checking tides, a journey without intention or readiness can be overwhelming.
It calls for reflection, clarity of intention, and relational support. Rather than “I want to rid myself of sadness,” it becomes “I want to meet what lies beneath my grief with compassion.”
Simple practices can support this stage:
Journaling for two weeks before a journey
Sitting quietly with your breath each morning
Sharing hopes and questions with a trusted friend
For those ready to begin, I offer the Ceremony Readiness Guide as a practical map of preparation.
“Timeless wisdom says the ‘way we begin is the way we continue.”
Ceremony: Presence and Relational Support
Each ceremony unfolds uniquely. Some enter into tears that release long-held grief. Others find laughter rising like spring water. Many feel awe, visions of love, or belonging that dissolve isolation.
Depression can feel like a locked room, and ceremony becomes the window that lets light and breath return.
It was the reverence of my guides that allowed me to step forward. As a guide, I do not walk the journey for you. I serve as a mirror for you to see the lighthouse within, steady and present, while you navigate your own sacred waters.
“The psychospiritual process of dying and being reborn is at the core of genuine healing and transformation.”
Integration: From Vision to Practice
The journey does not end when the sacrament fades — that is when the deeper work begins. Integration is the art of weaving vision into daily life so it does not slip away like a dream at dawn.
Practical integration practices can include:
Journaling daily for at least a month
Spending time in nature to reconnect with cycles of growth and release
Practicing mindfulness or prayer each morning
Creating relational rituals such as shared meals or weekly check-ins
Attending integration circles to be witnessed in community
Integration is the steady anchor. Ceremony gave me glimpses of wholeness, but integration allowed me to carry them into fatherhood, friendship, and service.
“Timeless wisdom says vision without practice is a spark that fades, but vision lived daily becomes a fire that warms the whole house.”
Navigating the Legal Landscape
Portland, Maine, joined a wave of reform in 2023 when the Portland City Council passed a resolution deprioritizing enforcement of natural entheogens. In 2025, Maine’s legislature considered LD 1034, which would have allowed adults to carry psilocybin without penalty. Though it fell short, it revealed how near the threshold we are.
Across New England, nine cities, Cambridge, Somerville, Northampton, Easthampton, Amherst, Medford, Salem, Provincetown, and Portland, have passed similar measures. These steps mark a cultural shift, though psilocybin remains in a legal gray area.
Currently, the only legally available psychedelic therapy in Maine is ketamine-assisted therapy, offered in clinical settings nationwide. For our mutual safety, my offerings are provided through a No Medicine Included (NMI) model for those who independently choose to engage with psilocybin or MDMA. I provide personal and spiritual development guidance with full attention to safety, informed consent, and harm reduction.
You can read more about this unfolding journey on my Advocacy page.
Walking Forward: The Future is Now
Through my own experiences with mental health challenges, I know the value of careful guidance. Today, I serve as a psychedelic guide, mentor, and transformational coach, holding a relational container for those exploring psychedelic therapy. Preparation, ceremony, microdosing, and integration support allow participants to transform fleeting insights into lasting growth.
Even as legal frameworks evolve, these heart-centered offerings are available now, inviting presence, mindfulness, and embodied transformation.
I serve seekers from across Maine and New England, as well as travelers from across the United States and abroad. Geography is secondary to the heart that calls you into this work.
“The fog can lift. Beneath it waits the ocean, the pine trees, and the quiet radiance of your own breath.”